Fears hold us back from doing what we truly want to do. Why are we afraid of failing? Why are we constantly worrying about things not working out?
In this letter, I want to share some fears I used to have and two ways I dealt with these fears! The podcast episode that launched on Sunday is also about the Fear of Failure, so I wanted to stay in theme ;-)
For so long in romantic relationships, I wasn't fully myself.
I didn't honestly share what I was thinking. I didn't express all my preferences. I would schedule my life around the other person's calendar and cancel my own plans. I rewrote my messages a hundred times. I didn't set any boundaries, and so much more.
Basically, I was afraid of rejection, afraid that I wouldn't be liked. I was also afraid of failure — another man who wouldn't commit, another relationship that wouldn't work out...
Some of you know I am building a community center here in Ghana. It's called Sungyata.
At the beginning of that process, I went through so many fears! Sometimes we hold ourselves back from starting something, and sometimes, even after we've started, we're still afraid of what could go wrong.
What if the workers can't be trusted?
What if they make mistakes?
What if I can't secure all the necessary funds?
What if we're unable to finish it?
What if I'm not capable of handling all of this?
My goodness, the fear! I could feel it in my stomach! It was a combination of unfriendly butterflies and pain.
I can honestly say to you that I don't go through this anymore! Because I know how to deal with it! Of course, I sometimes feel fear or insecurities rising up, which is normal as we grow and step out of our comfort zone; it's part of being human ;-)
But once you have the tools in your pocket, you can shift these situations easily.
Over the years, I've been through a lot of processes that have taught me how to deal with fears and insecurities. I've learned that they can be expressed in different ways, but their roots lie in not being fully connected to yourself.
Here are two things that always help me to trust more:
1. I try to find a moment where I can sit down, close my eyes, and feel what's going on in my body. It's very powerful to work with your body because then you move out of your head. I just try to feel the fear & even communicate with it. I check: Where is it located? How does it feel? Hello fear, hello you, I am here for you. What can I do for you? What do you need? And I try to give it all my love and gratitude. "I can see you are here to protect me, thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Most of the time it disappears. I am telling you!
2. Reframing - flipping my mindset! I first write down my worries and then I flip them. For example: Instead of thinking, 'What if he wouldn't like me if I say that?' >>> 'What if he would appreciate me setting boundaries?'
Or: 'What if the workers do something wrong?' >>> 'What if they are doing amazing work & there is always a solution when something goes wrong?' Then I feel into the feeling of the reframed sentence. And wow, it may sound simple, but it's magic!!
I've created a very powerful online journey that teaches you EVERYTHING I know about fully connecting to yourself, living in trust & confidence.
It's a combination of teachings, pre recorded videos, storytelling, meditations, visualizations, healings, journal questions, and exercises.
You get UNLIMITED access to an online environment & I am here to support you along the way! Read more details about the journey here.
When you go through this journey, you start to trust yourself fully, you become so connected with yourself, so rooted within, that you can't be shaken. And you'll start to see shifts in your life because of that ;-)
This letter has been sent out on February 6th, 2024. Once in a while Ama shares part of her newsletters on her website. Do you want to receive all the letters in your mailbox? Sign up below!
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