If I hadn’t had the courage to go for what I really wanted, I would still be sitting on my couch wondering why I am afraid of chasing my dreams. I remember really wanting to pursue my dreams, but there was always something holding me back. It was just so hard. It felt easier to stay where I was and to think about it. But why was I not following my dreams? Why was I so scared to pursue them? And how did I eventually overcome the fear of pursuing my dreams? That’s what I am going to share with you in this article! Are you ready? Let’s go!
Why don't you follow your dreams?
Having a dream can feel so big, so far away, so special, precious, and unique that it almost feels as if it is impossible to live that dream, to achieve it.
When we think something is impossible we have the tendency to give up. When it comes to dreams, that tendency can translate itself into deciding not to follow your dreams. It’s better to believe it’s impossible than to make the impossible possible ;-)
If I look back at it and reflect on why I wasn’t following my dreams, there are different things coming up. The majority of reasons why I didn’t follow my dreams have to do with fears and insecurities. That’s what it comes down to for many people, actually.
I was insecure about my dream: “Was it a good idea?” I didn’t know if it was a realistic dream.
I didn’t believe I had the skills that it took to make that dream a reality, I didn’t believe I had the money, I didn’t believe other people would be interested, and I didn’t believe in myself. I was scared to lose, scared to fail, scared to be rejected, and even scared to be successful!
So many things were going on in my thoughts, feelings and even energy field! For me, it was easier to just focus on my life and what I already had than to pain myself with the fact that I wasn’t following my dreams.
Why are you scared to pursue your dreams?
We already know that the reason why we don’t follow our dreams is because we are scared to pursue our dreams. Fear is taking over! Insecurities come to the forefront. And why is that? Why are we so scared to chase our dreams? And why is it that others are not scared to pursue their dreams?
Let’s explore this!
People who are not scared to pursue their dreams are comfortable with failing. They are comfortable with experimenting, and trying new things, even though other people may have their opinions about it. They also dare to take action without knowing what the outcome will be. They are brave to jump into the unknown. They also may be scared to pursue their dreams in some way, but they know how to deal with it or that it doesn’t run the show. In a way, they are confident with whatever happens, and they believe in themselves!
People who are scared to pursue their dreams are dealing with way more fears and insecurities that block them from really chasing their dreams. But why are they afraid?
Fears often have their roots in your childhood.
For example, when I explored why I wasn’t following my dream I found out I was scared to fail. It brought me back to when I was 8 years old, and often had the feeling that I was a failure in school because I didn’t feel as smart as my girlfriends at the time and had difficulties with mathematics.
I also discovered a link between my absent father and the feeling of not being good enough. I thought I wasn’t good enough because he wasn’t present. That feeling of not being good enough translated into not believing in myself to achieve my dream.
These examples are about experiences I went through myself. But often, we also absorb energy and information just by being in a certain environment.
If people around you say, “It is good to work for the government because entrepreneurs are unfair and rich people,” you will absorb the belief that it’s not good to be an entrepreneur. Now, imagine you have a dream of starting your own business! These belief systems will be sabotaging you.
It can also be that you are scared to pursue your dreams because you are dealing with fears and insecurities that are intergenerational and that even your ancestors dealt with!
Let’s say you have a dream to travel the world, but you had an ancestor who died in a plane crash, well, this can give you a fear of planes without you understanding why. Having this fear of planes may block you from traveling the world.
It can also be that you had some ancestors who lived in severe poverty and were angry at the elite at that time because they weren’t fair towards them. Well, if your dream is to earn a lot of money, you may be scared to become rich because of a fear or even anger your ancestors were holding because of what they experienced.
So, as you can see, when you are scared to pursue your dreams, it often has to do with previous experiences, experiences out of the past. Be it experiences you had yourself, situations you absorbed the energy from, or intergenerational trauma and fears.
How does fear work when chasing a dream?
When you are already on the path of chasing your dream, you overcame your initial fears or blocks to pursue your dream! That’s amazing!
But when you are chasing your dream, other fears may come up. You also can become angry or frustrated, sad or confused. A lot of people still quit or give up while they are trying to follow their dreams, because of too many challenges or fears coming up.
But how does fear work when we chase a dream?
The way it manifests for me may be completely different than how it shows up for you! How can you recognize that what’s happening to you is actually fear coming in the way? It can be so helpful to understand how these dynamics play out! To understand how fear works when chasing a dream, we basically just need to look at how fear works.
When we are afraid, fight, flight, freeze (or fawn) are the very popular ways how we react as human beings when we are scared. How these reactions to fear work when chasing a dream is what you can read here:
Fight: complaining or pointing the finger at something or someone else, becoming angry or frustrated, staying rigid and not accepting, literally feeling heated.
Flight: trying to hide and not show yourself, making yourself smaller than you are, not doing the thing you want to do, postponing, going into distractions, finding excuses, canceling things.
Freeze: not knowing what to do, not taking action, feeling stuck, being worried about why you are not moving forward.
Fawn: this means trying to please, and in the case of your dreams, it’s a reaction you can have towards yourself by trying to reassure yourself or help yourself - “It’s okay it’s not working out, don’t worry, you will find a solution, just do something else that you like, and it will be okay.”
I am sure that by now, you understand better how fear can work while chasing a dream. Of course, these reactions can also happen simultaneously. It’s not a black-or-white story.
How to overcome the fear to achieve your dreams?
Once we understand why we are scared to pursue our dreams and how fear shows, we also want to overcome our fear to achieve our dreams! Or at least, that’s what happened to me. How amazing would it be if you really knew how to transform your fears and that you were living your dreams! It may still feel impossible, but bear with me.
In what follows, I will share with you powerful ways that can help you overcome the fear of achieving your dream.
Work with your body: Fear and insecurities mostly live in your body. We can talk about it as much as we want, but if we really want to heal the fears that live in our body it’s important we learn how to bring our body back to safety. The fear is not real.
Rationally we know that, but physically our body is experiencing something else. Nervous system work is amazing for this! You can work with a coach or try it alone. Breathwork, somatic work or emotion code are amazing to reprogram your body and energy fields around your fears. You can start right now: think about your fear or feel it in your body - and then breathe in deeply and breathe out even longer. You can tell yourself in your mind: “I am safe.”, “Even though I feel this fear, I am safe, and there is nothing to be afraid of.” You can also choose to invite the fear back into your body and to move your body. Dancing is amazing for this!
Talk to your ancestors by writing: If you suspect you have some intergenerational fears or you are curious if you have some, you could reflect on the fears you see in your parents and grandparents and how they relate to you. You could also have a conversation with them about it. But it’s also super interesting to talk directly to your ancestors on paper. Take a pen and a piece of paper, write a question on the paper that you have (for example: “Ancestors, which fears do you have that I am feeling now?” and then answer the question right away. When I do this, I start writing super quickly without thinking and very interesting answers that I couldn’t have come up with myself arise. For many people, this is still a weird technique, but the trick is to really believe what is coming through. Eventually, you are doing this to get insights and to help you understand which fear is really yours and which fears you inherited.
Recognize fears and insecurities out of your past & heal them: What did you experience? Or which fears did you absorb from your parents? Once you have reflected and have more clarity about which fears come from your past, inner child work can be a beautiful way to deal with your pains and traumas! It can also be interesting to do Emotion Code on this or to have someone guide you in Soul Retrieval. I am the biggest fan of inner child sessions and breathwork. You can listen to my podcast episode about inner child work here if you want to start doing it yourself.
Reframe the way you are thinking! Fear lives in our heads, in our minds! If you think: “It’s not going to work out, I better stop now”, write down how you can reframe it. For example: “It can work out if I just try” or “It will work out as long as I continue working on it”. Doesn’t that feel different right away?
Just take action! Often one of the ways to not follow your dreams is to stay stuck in healing yourself and trying to overcome your fears ;-) So, sometimes it is also time to just START. How can you break your dream into smaller steps? And just start with a tiny step! What can you do today? What can you do tomorrow? If you are interested, I have a FREE inspiration guide: 9 ways to start working on your dream, idea or project, which will help you with this!
Find your support team! Often when a dream feels too big or difficult to start with, and we are scared to pursue our dream, it can really help to share this with our friends or people who want to see you happy and thrive. Often when you share this, you are making your dream more real, it becomes more of a possibility, and this can help diminish the feelings of fear! Also, while you are chasing your dream, a support team may help you go through the trenches.
Of course there are A LOT of other ways how you can overcome the fear to achieve your dreams! I just gave some examples. One of the things I always like to mention is that the answer often lies within you, tune in with your own intuition and ask yourself: How can I overcome my fears to achieve my dreams?
If you really want to work on overcoming your fears and transforming your insecurities, I have an excellent program to help you with this, it’s called Rooted Within!
Are you ready or still scared to pursue your dream?
If you feel ready to pursue your dream now, then that’s amazing!! I am so happy for you!
If you need support in starting, you can download this amazing FREE inspiration guide: 9 ways to start working on your idea, dream, or project! And don’t hesitate to contact me if you still can use some support in making your dream a reality! Wuhuw! I am rooting for you!
If you still are afraid of pursuing your dream and you really feel it’s time to change things,
then go and check out Rooted Within!
Rooted Within; it is a transformative journey where you learn how to transform your fears and insecurities and where you come closer to yourself!
When you sign up, you get access to an online environment of 11 chapters with videos, teachings, healings, exercises, and a workbook! It’s super comprehensive! You also get an individual one-on-one energetic clearing & individual email support if that’s needed.
X Ama